Monday, May 30, 2011

Relief from My Story, Part Two.

Today I’m talking to my friend/client Pete and he’s got a story (also known as a “life situation”) that’s really making him crazy. He’s got a long history (you could call this his “back story”) of money, money, money. For most of his life he’s worked in the financial industry in one form or another, making money, moving money, growing money, losing money—you get the general idea. Lots of money happening in all kinds of ways.

For most of his life, this story of money has treated Pete well—sure, he’s lost $500,000 in day, but he’s also made it in a day, too (As a person who’s personal awareness of money is almost nonexistent until I discover I don’t have any, I find this fascinating. According to my chakra expert friend, this is because my root chakra sucks ass, but that’s a story for another day).

So here’s Pete sailing along in his money boat, and then all of a sudden, over the past couple years, things go from sunny to bad to stormy to full-on shipwreck mode. Pete’s former harmonious relationship with money goes sour. His existing clients wander off to greener pastures. His potential new clients won’t return his calls. His investments and accounts appear to be slowly but steadily disappearing down a giant money-suck drain.

This ain’t Pete’s first time at the circus, so he does all the “right” things. He takes action. He takes responsibility. He takes risks. He takes care of himself, or at least, he tries to. In fact, he’s a 90 Hour Workweek Whirlwind of exhausting optimism. Just being around him kind of hurts. He’s so determinedly cheerful and resolute and upbeat it’s like being stuck in some bizarro Rogers and Hammerstein transformational self-help musical.

Imagine the cowboys and cowgirls of Oklahoma! Cavorting around the train station singing “Everything’s Up to Date In Kansas City” under threat of imminent execution and you’ve got a pretty good picture of what Pete’s money/work energy is like.

 
So as a newish Law of Attraction fan, Pete comes to me and asks, “Ellen, what the hell am I doing wrong? Why does Law of Attraction hate me? I just learned all this cool stuff about how thoughts become things and I’m all excited to manifest beyond my wildest dreams and now the Universe is destroying me! What is going on?”

“Hell if I know,” I tell him. “But what I do know is that there is something within you that knows exactly how to heal this situation. And I know that it’s time for some serious relief from that story you got going on--because it’s wearing me out just thinking about it.”

“But why am I losing so much money? I want to make money. I already told the Universe that!”

I tell him that Law of Attraction pairs us up with our predominant thoughts, beliefs, or ways of being. So, at some point in the past (doesn’t matter when, or even why) some part of him started to feel poor, and then he managed to suck some poverty in his direction to confirm this feeling. And then once he started to feel uncomfortable about money he began to push Money away (unintentionally) by thinking thoughts that felt like Not Money. And Money has to obey Law of Attraction just like everything else, so Money was all like, “Crap, I guess I gotta stay away from Pete, since he’s all into feeling Not Money.”

“But how do I Feel Money when my current reality is so Not Money? How do I get relief?”

I agree that this is a challenge. It requires you to think Airy Fairy Woo-Woo thoughts about stuff you aren’t experiencing right this second. It requires you to reach beyond current reality into an imaginary state of being that you desire.


If you are truly feeling anxious about something, like Pete, it requires you to relax, take deep breaths, drink some water, and maybe take a nap. It requires you not to take your created reality so seriously, because as soon as you loosen your grip, it will begin to transform. It requires, above all, some serious self-friendliness. Be kind and loving to yourself as you choose these new thoughts, and be proud of everything new that you are able to notice.

All of which is especially tough for us Westerners, because we take pride in “addressing” and “fixing” all current “bad” stuff we are experiencing. We like to “tell the truth,” and “face reality.”

And yet, reality is just a thing that’s happening right this second. The “truth” about anything can actually change as quickly as we allow it. We may not see the results immediately, because it takes the physical world a few moments to catch up with the lightning speed of our thoughts. And it may take us a bit of practice to get a new type of thought firmly pumping through our being.

But that loving feeling of plenty of freedom, space, and security is so worth the effort. Even if it is “imaginary” just to start. Of course, all things start out by being “imaginary.”

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Relief From My Story: Part One

The more I look around at the human condition, the more I am confronted by one undeniable reality. We, the people, are maniacal meaning-making machines—our lust to create meaning knows no bounds.
Especially when it comes to our lives—we simply can’t keep our hands off our story. Nor are we meant to. It is perhaps our purest universal experience—the desire to shape and examine and redirect each moment of our experience so it fits into our narrative of what SHOULD (or shouldn’t) be happening.
If you don’t believe me, just think back upon your day and start separating what actually happened (the facts) from your story about what happened (your interpretation). Go ahead. I’ll wait.
See what I mean?
When our story’s going great, and we’re living up to the heroic role we’ve purposefully created for ourselves, this feels amazing. But what about when we become victims of our own experience, victims of our own creation, of our own stories?

There’s a wonderful example of this in the recent Disney remake of Tron. Jeff Bridges plays a man named Flynn, who has tapped into this holographic matrix alternate reality called the Grid—a dayglo Sharper Image kind of place where people have laser motorcycle duels in neat fluorescent colors. But because he cannot be in this alternate universe all the time, he creates a virtual doppelganger named Clue to run the show in his place. All is well until Clue gets some ideas of his own and challenges Flynn’s authority.
Other characters question Flynn’s decisions first to fight with Clue and then to hide from him (in a minimalistic ashram that’s somehow “Off the Grid,” but, whatever). “Isn’t he the one that created Clue as a program?” asks Flynn’s son. “Why doesn’t he just delete or redesign him? How can he be so afraid of his own creation?”
Most of us are like Flynn most of the time. We create our story, including plot, setting, and characters (just for fun, picture yourself as Central Casting Agent for your life. Do you notice any patterns in the actors who surround you and show up for auditions to be in your movie?)
Then we get creeped out by some aspect of our creation: “My job sucks, my spouse isn’t sexy, my children hate me, I never get any respect, something’s wrong with my body.” And then we get stuck in the very seductive delusion that we are powerless to re-write the program to enjoy a very different outcome—“Nope, that’s it. Even though it sucks, somehow I created it like this and this is how it’s gonna stay!”
Wise friends could be telling you that you have the power to change any aspect of this story that doesn’t please you. And if you’ve been around the metaphysical block a couple of times, your inner monologue might sound something like mine when I get in this resistant state:
“I know, but I caaaan’t. I just feel so hopeless about this and you are now annoying the CRAP out of me. I don’t care about Law of Attraction. And I am now also annoyed with God, and especially with the Universe. Please don’t talk to me about the Universe and how rich and abundant and healthy and happy it is because I really don’t care. Who cares about the Universe’s stuff? What about Me? Where’s my stuff?”
This is when I know it is time for relief from my story. The fastest way to achieve this, for me, is to unplug for a few moments. If you are currently suffering from Story Overload, this might be a good plan for you, too. We’ll talk more about this in Part 2 of this segment. Bur for now, know that all you need to do is just reach back there and unplug your brain.

Ahhhhhhh! Doesn’t that feel good? If you truly unplugged, all you’re up for, right about now, is playing with your dog, your child’s Legos, your remote control and/or the cast of Jersey Shore. You have entered the blank zone of Being and Nothingness. The perfect place to rest (and reset your programs) before you begin to create again.
Written by: Ellen Melko Moore